Monday, 9 February 2009

Controlling Your Emotions

One of the hardest things to do in life is not to let utter defiance of the people around you get under your skin. Especially those that your know need your help but are so rude and arrogant that they throw it back in your face and abuse you. It can take a lot not to snap and start abusing them back.

As a teacher I faced this every day. Students that would argue with you, defy you and abuse you because you didn’t let them do the wrong thing. All you want to do is teach them a lesson in politeness, by any means and take your anger out on them, but in the long run it is you that looses.

You see, once you lose your cool and get angry with people it’s all over. Because they are angry with you they want to get you angry. Then they can just sit back a keep the flames of your anger burning. And in the long run you are the one that looks stupid because you were the one that was supposed to keep your calm. You are the one that was supposed to be professional.

And this doesn’t just happen with school students, it happens at home, at work and in your everyday life. Some people enjoy getting under your skin. They are so used to getting attention that way that they know no different. Others are so angry with the world that they want you to be angry just because they are. And others do not have the ability to admit to their mistakes so they will fight black and blue to have their point accepted no matter how wrong they are.

So what do you do? How do you get past these people and keep your cool?

That is one of the hardest things to do, but it is possible. The main thing is never to take it personally, regardless of how personal the attack by someone may be. In a business you may be dealing with people all the time that are angry and upset, but you have to remember that they are more angry with the business and you are just the poor person that has copped their anger.

Just let their abuse flow like water of a ducks back. If you take it personally then you will get angry every time. If you just ignore the abuse and work on solving the problem then you will be out in front every time.

And never seek revenge. Revenge does not fix a problem it only makes it worse. Let the problem go and move on to something thing new. The person that was angry or defying you has moved on and you need to do the same.

And remember always smile. It makes you feel good in any situation.

Terrence Shadwell

P.S. for more information on being able to control your emotion have a look at my motivational course at

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