Sunday, 15 February 2009

Support of Friends

I was talking to a woman the other day that I really respect. We started talking about investment and I started telling her about my plans and what I wanted to achieve. To my utter surprise she took a very negative attitude towards all of my ideas. That would be ok if I was talking about some crack pots schemes but I was mentioning some well known and practiced share investment and housing strategies.

However, no matter what I said she was negative about it all and could only tell me about all the risks that I faced if I was to invest. She told me all the old stories too about the troubles that she has seen other people go through. Not once did she say that I was doing the right thing or try to give good advice about how to avoid potential problems. It was just constant tales of woe.

This is a woman that runs her own business and is quite knowledgeable about money. It was a real bring down and I walked away thinking that maybe I should just stop trying and not worry about the investments I had planned.

I spent the rest of the day in the dumps, self doubting myself and questioning every thing I did. Was it worth taking risks? Should I just listen to her and not try? Should I just accept that only other people can be rich?

Fortunately, later that night my fiancé came home after spending a week away seeing her family. She had also caught up with my parents and spent time with them.

After exchanging our stories of what had happened to us over the week apart I told her about the conversation with my friend. She too was like me and surprised that someone so knowledgeable could be so negative. But then my fiancé told me something that helped to get rid of all my self doubts and questioning.

She said “Your mother is really proud of you at the moment and believes that you will achieve everything that you want.”

Now I know mother a supposed to say certain things about their children. And I know I am the best looking person in the world because my mum told me. However she also told me I can sing, yet all the cracked mirrors do not agree with her.

However what it did prove to me was be careful of who you listen to. There is going to be a lot of people around you that are going to be negative and bring you down. And there will be people around you that will support you and encourage you. And you level of success in life will depend on who you listen to.

There are a million and one reasons why people will be negative and bring you down. The why is unimportant. What is important is that these people will suck your life from you and stop you from achieving anything and everything you have ever wanted. All they will do is point out the problems and troubles in everything you want to do. And so enough you will start to believe them.

Think about it. If you want to invest into a house then you will be able to find someone that can tell you why you shouldn’t. They had a friend that went through problems. You will have to pay to much tax. What if you can rent it? What if the tents don’t pay? What if………

If you find someone like this you need to do two things. 1) Just see what else they are negative about. You will probably find that they are negative about everything and never say anything positive and 2) ask them how much property/shares/whatever they have. And if they don’t invest in anything then walk away.

You do not want to know this person or be around them anymore. This is not a friend. Friends encourage people to succeed, not hold them back.

What you need to do is start finding people that will help you, motivate you and encourage you to do the best in life. If that’s you mum then that’s fine. Cause in the long run while mums do need to be nice they are also honest and will tell you when something is wrong. They will encourage you but they won’t just sit back and let you make mistakes. They will guide you and support you. And you can get friends just like this.

There are people in the world that will support you and motivate you. There are actual clubs of people like this. Clubs such as Rotary and Lions exist to help people. They are full of supportive people that get together to help others and they are non religious, in case that is a problems for you. 

If you don't want to join one of those clubs, you will find people in your own office or work place that have a more positive out look on life. Get to know those people and start getting some positive feed back from them.

And there is me. I will always tell you you can succeed. I’ll  be like your mother, giving you positive feed back and ensuring that you have checked your facts first so that you don’t make mistakes. I’ll guide you and advise you, through this blog and my own web page and I’ll try to steer you in the right direction.

You can be successful. With the right attitude, a strong belief in yourself, the right supportive people (including a good accountant and lawyers to give good advice on your decisions) and good friends you will start to see you dreams come true. And I will be here to keep telling you that you can.

I’ll talk to you again soon.


Terry Shadwell

P.S. As always don’t forget the motivation course at Living Your Dreams. I spent six weeks recording this to ensure that you had the best advice and motivational support to make your life great. I wouldn’t have spent all that time if I didn’t think you were worth it.

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