Sunday, 22 November 2009

Shy Boy

Most people that meet now day would probably say that I am an extrovert. Always on show and love attention. However, would you believe that only ten years ago I would have been considered shy? I used to be really shy and it was keeping me back from doing a lot of things and meeting a lot of people.

I was afraid to talk or introduce myself to people. I was scared of what they would think of me. If the person was a female of the opposite sex then I was as good as useless. There was no way I would go up and talk to her. She may tell me to get lost or laugh at me.

It took a while to learn that my shyness wasn’t about because I am a timid person, it was because I lacked a strong believe in myself, my appearance and my own confidence. I was a strong believer in self doubt. In fact it was so strong that it crippled me in a couple of areas. The only thing that I had going for me was I knew that I had to change.

That need for change kept on build until I was 27. At that time I was overweight, long hair and living with my parents. My friends were all fit and health, married or dating people and living in their own houses. Instead of feeling like a young man that could tackle the world, felt, and acted like a little boy.

The problem with that was I was content to stay there. I would have been happy to allow things to be done for me and remained immature. Again this was due to the lack of confidence and shyness that I was carrying. Fortunately, a rather nasty comment about my weight snapped me into action.

In a period of 4 months I lost 20kgs through walking, eating properly and a wee bit of weight lifting. I then decide to cut my hair. In fact I went from hair half way down my back to a number one. This all made me feel better and build my confidence, which then gave me strength to move out of mum and dad’s place into my own home.

I then decided to go out with some friends one night and when they first saw me they were stunned. Some could hardly believe it was me. Their positive comments about my looks, my weight and even my attitude helped to build my confidence.  I even had enough confidence to talk to a woman.

I was kicking myself for taking so long to get to this point. I couldn’t help but think about all of the opportunities I had lost in those years of self doubt. I decide that that would never happen again. I was determined to make sure that I never hid away again and never missed another opportunity.

So I came up with a simple set of questions that can be applied to any situation. The first is, “What will happen if I don’t do this?” The second is a “What will happen if I do do this?” In relation to a talking to a girl, if I don’t talk to her, then I never know if she does like, or if I had a chance to get to know her better. Could I spend the rest of my life regretting not just saying hello?

What would happen if I did talk to her? She may like me and I may get to know her. Alternately she may say she is not interested, but at least I would know where I stood and I could go talk to somebody else.

So I say to you, don’t let shyness stand in your way. Build your confidence, take chances and talk to people. Ask yourself the same questions I still ask myself and start having a life you will enjoy living.

Terry Shadwell

Terry Shadwell invites you to visit his blog at Here there are more great articles about motivation, blogging, affiliate marketing and other money making strategies. There are also free tools and ebooks that will help you improve you sales online.



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