I am confident. Don’t you agree?
I loved that new movie, didn’t you? I think that person is great, what do you think? We hear these statements from people all the time. They come from people that are not confident about their own opinion, and are worried that if they like something others don’t then they will be shunned.
Unfortunately theses statements do not stop with what others think, but go to a level where people are always questioning their own abilities. “I don’t think I can handle that job. I probably wouldn’t be able to beat him in a race. I’m just not cut out for that kind of life.”
This is a severe lack of confidence and it comes about from two main reasons. The ability to think, or over think, and the constant berating of people that have more confidence than us.
The ability to think or to reason is a great thing. With reason we can make arguments against pollution and whale hunting (sorry, Japanese experimental research), but we can also reason why we shouldn’t believe in ourselves.
Now this can be good at times as I can happily reason that I cannot jump out of a plane without a parachute and live. Reason can stop us from doing stupid things (Japanese experimental research), but it can also destroy our confidence. We can easily argue with ourselves that we are not good enough to do something, or be with someone, or to go somewhere.
When we over analyse a situation we will find all the problems with it and blow everything out of proportion. We only see the problems and nothing else and then start making reasons as to why we can’t do something. This is sad when the issues that we face should be the things that drive us towards something, not away.
Every issue is an opportunity to fix something, or to make it work, or to win somebody over. They are not issues, they are challenges. Change your attitude and how you look at problem, and you will instantly feel more confident. Break every problem down. And instead of saying “I don’t think I can”, start saying, “if I take small steps and learn more about it, then I know I can.”
Remember a lion doesn’t over analyse anything. It doesn’t need moral support from its pride. It knows it’s the best and fastest, and it acts like it.
The second issue on confidence is that most people like to knock those around them that are more confident then themselves. I wrote once that “arrogance is the confidence that other people lack”. In some ways I still believe it. People that lack confidence tend to believe that those that are able to believe in themselves, make decisions and take action without the need to seek approval from other around them are arrogant. “They just think they are so good because they don’t need our self limiting and soul destroying opinion.”
However, you can be this way. By breaking a problem down it becomes easier to manage and easier to make a decision about and take action on. Confident people aren’t arrogant; they just learnt how to tackle problems one step at a time. They also have faith in their ability to do things. Plus they stopped seeking out and listening to others that put them down. In fact they have surrounded themselves with people that build them up.
This can be you. Change how you look at problems and make them a challenge instead. Break the challenge down to its smallest level, make a decision and take action. Have faith in your abilities. Stop listening to people that put you down and surround yourself with people that will help you and build you up.
You have the ability to do this. And before long you will be feeling confident and able to achieve whatever you put your mind to.
P.S. Don’t forget from my main site http://terryshadwell.blogspot.com/ you can find links to all my pages on cricket, league, AFL, soccer and much, much more