Sunday, 26 January 2014

Bullying and Harassment

Every day I get tired of dealing with bullies who are just out for themselves. It becomes very depressing very quickly when you have to be in the presence of people like this. Their selfish attitude towards other people is soul draining.  They lack any type of caring and respect for who they are with. Plus the bully is willing to harass you and others with no regard for your feelings. Unfortunately, no matter what you do you cannot change who they are, because they are unaware, and really don’t care about the problems they create for other people. 

We have all had to deal with bullies before. They are arrogant, rude, selfish and like to dominate conversations. They palm off work to others and do very little themselves, while still try to take all the credit they can. They are greedy, sneaky, dishonest, and even at times, downright liars. They try to bamboozle the people around them with rubbish. 

The whole reason why they are like this is very plan to see when you watch a person like this often enough. They are afraid of being caught out. Their harassment and bullying is to try to keep the rest of us off balance and running in circles so that we can’t see what they are really doing (or in most cases, not doing). This type of bully tries to hide the fact that they a really lazy and even inept at their job by pretending to look busy and hide behind their work.  

Gossiping is a form of bullying
Bullies are very quick to pass blame and point out all of your faults, regardless of how minor. By doing this, they put you into a defensive position where you have to explain yourself. It also takes the light off them. If you happen to then say something about their work performance, you will look you are only doing it for petty revenge. 

Bullies can be smart; however, they are not clever. They may know every trick in the book to harass others and make themselves look good, but it won’t last. Often they get caught out. All the liars and deception soon start to unravel and they have a hard time trying to convince others that they are capable.

The important thing to remember is that you cannot change a bully. If you offer to help them, they will only harass you for your sympathy and push more work and rubbish your way. Unfortunately all you can do is protect yourself from them. 

Protecting yourself from a bully can be done in a couple of ways. If the person is a friend, then you need to put distance between you. Stop socialising with them and remove them from your life. It can be hard, and the other person may try to harass you into staying their friend. However, you need to cut them out of your life and see them only when it is unavoidable. 

Take action against bullies
If they happen to be a work colleague it can be a bit more difficult. You still to put as much distance between you and the bully as you can. You also need to keep a record of what has happened. I advise this course as you can bet the bully will be keeping records, regardless of how true, to ensure they have themselves covered.  You may want to also think about moving to a different department, or even to a new job. 

You can, of course, sit and wait for the bully to leave, but they probably never will. You have to take control of what happens to you. Stop worrying about them as they don’t worry about you. You want to leave them alone for them to create their own problems and to ensure you don’t get caught in them.

It’s not nice dealing with bullies and it can be quite frustrating. I warn you, do not get angry with them. Half the time it is what they want and then they will use it against you. You need to stay calm at all times. If you yell at them, or worse, hit them, they can claim to be the victim in the whole situation. No matter what they have done to you, your actions will be seen as extreme. It can be hard, but you need to step back and let this person create problems for themselves. 

If you are having a hard time not getting angry, try to remember everything that you can lose. If you happen to punch a work colleague or boss you will lose your job. With that you have the chance then to lose your house, car and all you possession as you will not have an income. It will be harder to find another job as you will have to tell the new employer why you were sacked and they will not want to hire someone with a history of violence. You can lose friends, and even destroy your relationship with your partner as they lose respect for you. 

It is a hard road to travel, but I can promise, once you come out the other side you will be better for it. I have been there and it was difficult not to lose my temper and start throwing punches. What stopped me was the thought that I had too much to lose. I have worked hard to get where I am and I wasn’t about to let a bully who was harassing me take that away from me. 

If this is you at the present, take some time away from the situation and calm down. Talk to someone about the issue that does not have a vested interest in you work and allow them to help guide you through the situation. As they are not directly involves they will be able to see options that you may not in your worked up state. 

Keep record of what has been going on. You can then use these to help build a case against your bully. Written evidence is great, and legal in most cases, and will give your argument more body. If you can prove with evidence that an incident, regardless of how miner, took place on a certain date then your employee will have to do something about it. 

Bullying and harassment in the work place has become a major issue in the last few years. There are laws against it, and they are there to protect you. If you feel you are being bullied, then now is the time to take action. Talk to a partner or friend and start getting thing sorted. Work can be hard enough without having to feel like you don’t want to deal with a bully every day.

If you have children, let them know that they don’t have to be bullied and harassed either. Bullies are usually cowards, so be prepared to stand up and shut them down. This is your life, so let’s make it the best we can.

For more information check out

Work Place Bullying

If you have children who are being bullied then please visit Youth Beyond Blue Bullying 

If you yourself is being bullied then you can visit Beyond Blue and the Human Rights Commission

Stop bullying today

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